Wednesday, 17 November 2010


I thought it will be a good vocation , i do not know what destiny hide for me , I phoned him two weeks ago for arrange what we will do in the holidays .
At the first night we made love as we never did before , But when i went out of shower , i saw him cry like a baby wanna his ma .
I thought it was for something stupid i did .
At the second night , He refuse to make any kind of love even such a small kiss , NOP , I do not why and his treat with me changed completely why , For what reason , What i did to deserve all this treatment , We became like strangers live in the same flat , Share the same bed , We not become lovers anymore .
At night , I woke up as usually , Looking for him in the flat , Did not found him , But i found that letter from the time i saw it , I felt there is something wrong .

Sorry my love , I made a two mistakes and i will punish myself because i deserve it , It is time to die in the time you will read it i will be in the first place i saw you trying to die . Last week after our fight , I was in mess dunno what to do so i just caught a boy from Al -tahrir and we spent the night together after that i did not feel okay , So i make aids test and all that time waiting for the result and only know it after our sex yesterday , I am sorry please forgive me and always remember only the good days .

I am trying to remember it till i found it in the bloody red that cover my hand , Now i see you like always the angel i used to love .

Monday, 15 November 2010

hard quastion

Why making sex between gays like a forbidden thing , Some people do not do it because of their religion , their idea of doing it or whatever .
ya , whatever in there mind that control them , it is forbidden , and they all hate people who do it , Why they all hate them , Why they can not deal with who do it .
But now , I want do it , But I only think about how I will look like after it , How I will see myself in the mirror after .

Is it right to do with someone who I have feeling for him or just wait for the one who sound forget our meeting .

When I saw an English movie and how they start dating there and how making love came in 3 or 4 date .

So why here it is like that , I hate question like that , Which I can not answer I think I need time to know for which team I will join , but I think I will be member of the second one ;)

Saturday, 13 November 2010

كل ما الحكي

كل ما الحكي بطول اكتر بتقول بتصير
معقول تحكي الصحيح

كل ما الحكي بطول اكتر بتقول بتصير
معقول تحكي تمام

كل ما الحكي ببان لو كيف ما كنا بتصير
انسان حكيو صريح

كل ما الحكي ببان لو كيف ما كنا بتصير
انسان طالب سلام

ما تفكر بدي انشا مسوده
كل يلي بدي صدق الكلام

نفسا اخبارك طوشت اسرارك
قلي بنهارك بوقت تنام

كا ما الحكي بروح بتصر تبوح بتصير
مبحوح عامل فصح

كل ما الحكي بروح بتصر تبوح بتصير
مبحوح زي الحمام

كل ما الحكي يزيد ويصير يزيد
ببقا معك عم بسمعك

وحدي انا عم بسمعك
وقلبي دليلي كل الدليل

Monday, 1 November 2010


dunno what i shall do here , it is not matter of life or death .
but it is my own life , so , i have to figure out any solution for it .
i think i need something new , love , sex , whatever how it come or what the results are .
just any change in my gay boring life